In order to make time travel with Lizzy not such a random event as you might think, we have implemented a very sophisticated and user-friendly time travel settings panel so that you can accommodate your adventure as you wish in order to have some sort of control over your trip through time and space. Below you can find all the available travel modes you can chose from in order to get close to your desired location in time and space!
The language switch in the soviet time machine lets you choose between two beautiful melodic languages.
In case you speak English or any other language than German, please select English as the language you would like to be adressed with during your trip through time and space. Should you still speak German but for understandable reasons hate this language, you may also select English.
Sprichst du Deutsch und hörst du nur gerne Deutsch, weil du findest Deutsch ist eine wunderschöne melodiöse Sprache und du auch nur mit dieser berieselt werden möchtest, wähle entsprechend Deutsch. Wir empfehlen jedoch einen Blick über den Tellerrand hinaus!
Time travel with Lizzy is not restricted to any age, yet we account for differences in it.
In case you should be 12 years or older, you may go for the Rated-R time travel mode. Sometimes Lizzy uses nasty words and has a complicated way of expressing herself. Not that we haven’t warned you!
In case you should be under 12 years old, please go for the G-Rated time travel mode. We don’t want you to hear things you are not supposed to hear. That’s not our job, that’s the one of your parents!
Every trip through time and space needs an adequate soundtrack, we give you two options.
If you like some action, are the rather active type of time traveller, prefering a bottle over a toilet to pee in any day of the week and don’t give a fuck about vortex helmets and protein pills, go for Active.
If you like it easy-peacy, prefering a Bloody Mary over a VodkaOrange any day of the week and wanna make sure that you take your proteins pills and put your helmet on, go for Idle.
Radiation is unavoidable during time travel - but at least we let you choose how to be irradiated.
If you’re really into Ray Charles and are not exactly one of these surferboys and girls and you’ve always been one of the real adventurers who always wondered how it would be to grow a third leg in the future, go for ray!
If you like Radios and Surfing, go far wave - just b-cos. Also if you don’t want your skin being penetrated by nasty Gamma-Rays, Cos-Wave radiation might be just the one for you!
Your trip through time and space can be tailored to your risk profile. Since time travel is always risky, your choice won’t matter, though - sorry!
If you don’t mind ending up in a Soviet Gulag, Donalds Trump big big head, Wolfsschanze, Betlehem, Martullos Management Seminar, in a Nuclear War or in the stomach of a big shark, choose Yes!
If you like to play it safe and sound, please leave the Time Machine now! If you can deal with your dirty mind, Uranus, arriving before time and of course are a Nihilist, you may go with the No-Mode!
The three vortex accelerators can send you either to the next black hole or the next worm hole to shorten the trip through time and space tremendously.
If you’re more of an adventerous type, we recommend you the blackhole time travel mode. Just remember that everybody will probably be dead by the time you’re back, given that you’re actually gonna make it back of course!
The wormhole time travel mode is a bit of a more sophistiacted and safer way of travelling through time and space. Hence, it’s also pretty boring. But don’t worry, we will not make your time travel setting public!
As there is a certain likelyhood of certain death while travelling with Lizzy, we want you to give options how to end your life - you’re welcome!
Even we really don’t know the difference between Nuclear and Cultural Decay, it must be an old Soviet joke. Anyhow, it is rumored that if you choose the former, you’ll end up as a mushroom if something should go horribly wrong during time travel...
It is rumored that Lizzy will self-destroy herself and become one gigant fart in case of quantum entanglement failure since Igor is afraid to run into Heisenberg to whom he still owes money for 1 ton of meth he once used to power the Flux Capacitor.
We need to know your personality traits in order to make you not go completely crazy during time travel!
If you’re the one, looking for the one, had one moment in your life, are one of a kind, are a goalkeeper and can’t stop listening to U2’s “One”, then there’s only one Binary Attitude that will make your time travel experience a satisfying one!
If you really like Coca Cola Zero, Ground Zero, are a nihilist - zero fucks given - Agent Zero Zero whateverthefuck and every mathematival manipulation gives you a zero in the end, that’s where you wanna go!
If the Flux Capacitor fails - which it mostly does - you will have to choose between uncertainty regarding space and time.
Sometimes the Flux Capacitor fails and Lizzy the Lizzy isn’t able to circumvent the Heisenbergs uncertainitcy principle, meaning you could end up even before time itself and staying captivated it an endless time loop. If that frightens you, go for the Time Mode!
Igor attempted to power the Flux Capacitor with Walter Whites Crystal Meth in order to solve the location-momentum dilemma. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. When it doesn’t - and you care more about space than time - go for the Space Mode!
